Wednesday, September 28, 2011

One Step Closer to Mortality

My parents are getting older and they are not in great health. Mom has cancer. Dad has a number of issues.

It seems just yesterday my Father could pick me and throw me up in the air. My Mother's kisses made everything better (they still kinda do:)). I always had them to look up to and give me refuge.

You are never ready to lose people you love, no mater how old or sick they are. It does not  matter if you think you are prepared for it. Deep down we all know we are mortal. Some are more aware of it than others. It grips you tighter however, when the shadow of death starts creeping into your life. It comes with CT scans and hospital smells. It comes with the scrubs and lab coats; it comes with the words "mass" , "RCC", "malignant". I was told that when your parents die, it feels like you have one foot in the grave.

I am not worried about death myself (or I would not be a cop). I am just not ready to face it again. I want my parents to have more years. I want them to see more Halloweens and more Birthdays. I want to carve a pumpkin with Mom. I want to go sighing a new rifle with Dad. I want life for them.

So, Death, we are not ready for you.

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